The Mark Up

A letter to New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg

2010-05-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

(Note: As the NYPD and FBI tracked down Pakistani-born Faisal Shahzad on an Emirates flight from JFK to Dubai, the Mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, was saying the following:
KATIE COURIC: Law enforcement officials don't know who left the Nissan Pathfinder behind, but, at this point, the mayor believes the suspect acted alone.

MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG: If I had to guess 25 cents, this would be exactly that, somebody-

COURIC TO BLOOMBERG: A home-grown?

BLOOMBERG: Home-grown, maybe a mentally deranged person or somebody with a political agenda that doesn't like the health care bill or something.

Mr. Mayor:

I am writing to you today, as I am sure many of my fellow Americans already have, to register my indignation at your foolish, misguided and bigoted comments made to Katie Couric regarding the Times Square bomber. It is unfathomable to me that you, the head of government for the largest city in the United States, would be willing to go off half-cocked and make a disgraceful political statement a mere nine years after nearly 3,000 people died on Manhattan Island in an act of foreign—dare we say Islamic?—terror.

For you to make such a transparently partisan statement after an incident that could have killed hundreds of city citizens and tourists is, simply put, brain dead. I understand that many citizens of New York place themselves on a higher intellectual level than the rest of the nation, but those of us who disagree with President Obama—and, it would appear, you—still have the best interests of this nation at heart. Two previous attacks on New York should be sufficient for you to eschew political correctness in favor of a full investigation. Sadly, you lack the intellect to take this approach.

While this guy's trying to kill New Yorkers...

I am happy the New York City Police Department and the FBI were not as closed-minded as you and were willing to investigate the possibility of a third act of Islamic terror against your city. I understand we are all innocent until proven guilty, but you have defamed millions of Americans as part of a cheap political stunt. Your words were slanderous, arrogant and stupid.

Mike Bloomberg has found the real threat to American security.

My wife turns 30 this July and I had planned on bringing her to your city to celebrate. Feel free to bet a quarter those plans have changed, courtesy of your big mouth.

The letter would have been longer, but New York City's Web site limits you to 300 words.

Striking a blow for awkward teenagers everywhere

2010-04-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

(from the "I wish I'd known this shit 20 years ago" files)

I was never what you would consider "cool." I wasn't in middle school, junior high and certainly not in high school. At Lehigh I had a group of people I hung out with, so it wasn't until I got to A&M that I was remotely popular (and that may have been because I was older and people thought I'd buy the beer. Who knows).

Net result: I never went into Abercrombie and Fitch.

Even when I was in high school, A&F was the supposed epitome of cool. And, even then, their shit was overpriced and their customer service blew. I didn't understand why the very California concept of wanting to be like the people who shit on you went nationwide, but this store is evidence that it did.

And you have these snotty asshats blowing you off if you aren't as beautiful as they are. I think this is by company policy.

Or, so I've been told.

We're sexy, flat-abed douchebags. We're too cool for you. Buy a shirt.

Today, for the first time, I went into an Abercrombie and Fitch. I was at the Galleria, sore as hell from a left leg injury and in a really bad mood. But hell, I liked the smell of their cologne and wanted to see how much it cost. So in I went--grouchy and praying for someone to ignore me.

And, lo and behold, there was a guy, probably about 20, who looked like he spent a lot of time at 24 Hour Fitness and not a lot at school working the place--which was empty. I walked in, he made eye contact and walked to the other side of the room. Since I have a short haircut right now that hides the gray hairs, I still look like I'm in my 20s, so I guess that meant, to him, I was subhuman.

(By the way, A&F--great company policy, telling your employees to treat customers like shit. I'll be your visitor breakdown is 20 percent looking, 25 percent humiliated, 50 percent 'fuck you very much, you jizz-burping scumbags' and 5 percent buyer.)

So, the stories in Forbes and Money Magazines about A&F's eat-shit service are true. Well, homey ain't playing that today.
(NOTE: All you awkward, pimply-face teens who got blown off by the jackholes, take notes starting NOW.)

"Hey, Chachi, get your ass over here," I said, snapping my fingers.

This appeared to be a new concept for AFD (A&F douche), because he actually came over on command. Or, maybe he just as the mental capacity of a poodle. Either/or.

"Tell me something," I said, leaning over the counter. "You act like a snobby asshole naturally or because they tell you to? You think you're going to get pussy acting like this?"

"I have a girlfriend," AFD replies.

"Really? You tell all her friends she gave you head while she was drunk? Because that's the only way I can see you ever getting any. Unless you're rich--and, judging from the fact you're making $7.50 an hour acting like a snot-nosed shit at a clothing store gives me a real good idea you're not."

AFD appears to have no response to this, but turns pale.

"Let me tell you something," I continued. "That girlfriend's going to leave someday, probably soon. And if you keep acting like a jackass, whether it's because it's how you roll or because you're told to, one day it's just going to be you, your computer, some lube and your right hand, wondering how it all went wrong."

No, I didn't buy the cologne. Burberry was just downstairs and they had some good shit on sale. And their employees actually liked it when you entered the store.

The negatives I can think of about ACORN's going out of business

2010-03-22T15:11:00.001-07:00

The death of one man's bracket

2010-03-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

I’m a stickler for tradition, especially traditions that have served me well in the past. When it comes to the NCAA basketball tournament, my habit is gotten me all four Final Four teams two of the last three years and the national champion four straight.

So, with five minutes before the opening game Thursday, I took a quick look, made spot judgments and filled out my brackets. I was done with two minutes to spare. My rules are simple: pick the best team I’ve seen all year to win it, the most athletic team (if possible) to come in second, be logical when it comes to A&M’s chances and pick against Texas in the first round.

I'd rather my players be in the NBA than win in your bracket.

And ignore Dick Vitale's favorite conference, which means shun the Big East.

Net result: Kansas to win, Kentucky to lose in the final, A&M to the Final Four and Texas fan worried about football recruiting by the start of the weekend.

I did take a few risks, of course: I liked New Mexico State and Cornell as my 12-5 upsets, thought Georgetown was playing well enough to make it to the Sweet 16, picked Vanderbilt to be a surprise entrant in the Sweet 16 and thought UTEP was still good enough to beat Butler in the first round.

I feel good about things.

(By the way, I think A&M is a totally logical pick for the Final Four. If they beat Purdue tomorrow, they get Duke--probably--in Houston. They have a stronger defense than anyone Duke’s faced and there will be 50,000 screaming Aggies at Reliant Stadium. I will be one of them, and I WANT DUKE. Ok, moving on.)

2 p.m. Thursday: BYU has just finished off Florida in double overtime. Ok, good; got that one. I figured the 30-year-old white guys had a chance against a young and only partially talented Gator team. But Villanova had trouble with Robert Morris? Sure am glad I picked Baylor to win that one. Puke.

3:35 p.m. Thursday: Old Dominion has defeated Notre Dame. Oops, didn’t have that one, but I can’t stand Notre Dame anyway. It’s time to go get the missus, so I’m listening to the end of the Vandy--Murray State game on the radio. Jaime’ has already warned me that Vandy has assumed the role of the suck, but they’ve got the lead with 6 seconds left. Murray State takes care of the with a jumper at the buzzer.

I throw my hands up in dismay, hearing the brakes squealing and the crash of my West bracket. Or maybe it was the guy in front of me who just drove off the road. Guess he had Vandy too. Or maybe he had just heard that Washington had beaten Marquette at the buzzer. I had Marquette in that one, too.

8 p.m. Thursday: By this point, things are beginning to look a little odd. St. Mary’s has beaten Richmond--no biggie, even though I had Richmond--and Butler has just smoked UTEP like a Lucky Strike. I should have remembered one of my old rules: “If you lose to the University of Houston, you suck harder than Elton John during pride week.”

Kansas is having trouble with Lehigh, or alma mater #1 (or, as some people I know call it, alma “don’t” mater). One of the guys I know from Lehigh posts “THEY’RE SHUTTING DOWN THE BRIDGES IN LAWRENCE, KS!” Of course, Lawrence has no bridges, but what the hell. I refer to Lehigh as “we,” feel dirty and decide not to again. There can be only one.

But KU’s problems pale to Georgetown‘s, another one of my surprise Sweet 16 teams. They’re getting buried by Ohio University.

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?

11 p.m. Thursday: Wake Forest beats Texas at the buzzer. The despised scum from Austin have gone from #1 to first round out in less than three months. I jump up and down and scream like a 7-year-old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert. My wife, already asleep, is not quite as enthralled. But tradition has held.

11 a.m. Friday: A look at the brackets indicates they’re still standing, though certain parts of them look like they’ve been hit by a JDAMS. A few upset specials, like Cornell over Temple and Siena over Purdue, and we’re back in business.

3 p.m. Friday: I wish the Air Force would stop using my brackets for target practice. Cornell does pull the upset, but Siena and Minnesota are gone. What the hell was I thinking supporting two Yankee teams? Foolishness. Looking at my brackets is now as desirable listening to “The Very Best of Air Supply”.

oh...MY...GOD!

At least Missouri beat Clemson. Thanks, Big 12!

6 p.m. Friday: A&M has opened up a can of country whoopass on Utah State, much to my relief. I was worried that the refs in that game (who have a history of screwing the Aggies) would…well, screw the Aggies. Well, the Aggies pounded on the Aggies so soundly that the Aggies (our Aggies, not theirs) had nothing to worry about.

9 p.m. Friday: I took Florida State to beat Gonzaga. And Oklahoma State over Georgia Tech--thanks for nothing, Big 12! Net result: staring blankly at the screen with a glazed-over look like a 40-year-old straight male at that same Jonas Brothers concert. It gets worse when New Mexico State loses to Michigan State on a lane violation. Who screws NMSU (the Aggies)? The same refs I was worried about earlier.

Oh, the humanity..

2:30 p.m. Saturday: I’m awoken from a nap by Jaime’, mocking Villanova’s loss…to St. Mary’s. Didn’t Dick Vitale say the Big East was the best conference in the nation, bar none? WHADDYA SAY NOW, DICKIE V? Now an Elite 8 team, an A&M victim, is gone.

8 p.m. Saturday: Baylor has won. Puke. Tennessee has beaten Ohio and Butler beat Murray State, neither of which matter to me because I HAD NONE OF THEM. Washington has beaten New Mexico, scrubbing another Sweet 16 team with one I had losing in the first round. And the Fighting Honkies of Northern Iowa have eliminated my champion, Kansas.

But hey, my Aggies are still alive. AND I WANT DUKE.

Don't think east coast bias exists?

2010-01-25T17:44:00.001-08:00

Let me cure you of this misconception. I am living proof of it.

In October, I started work on a book. It's a heck of a good subject and I've gotten a lot of help with it. The subject: the 1999 "Bonfire Game" between Texas A&M and the University of Texas. The game took place a week after the collapse of Aggie Bonfire on Nov. 18, which killed 12 Aggies and injured 27. I've talked to everyone from kids who were hurt in the collapse to EMTs, to reporters covering the event to the guy who called the game on ABC. I've gotten an awful lot of support from guys who played in the game on both sides, which is truly remarkable.

For those who aren't familiar, the Aggies were supposed to be a national championship caliber team in 1999 but had three losses; the Longhorns were supposedly a year away, but needed a win against A&M to have a chance at playing for the national championship. The Aggies had been in that spot the year before and lost on the last second in Austin. After the Bonfire collapse and the heartbreak Aggieland suffered, nobody expected A&M to put up much of a fight.

Instead, after falling behind 16-6, the Aggies mounted a comeback and won a stunning upset, 20-16. It was one of the most memorable games in the history of the rivalry--and nobody has written about it in a decade.

So I've got a chance to write about one of the best-known games in college football in the last 25 years. I wrote nearly 150 query letters, trying to get the interest of some book agents. And, lo and behold, I'm actually represented--by a guy from New York!

So what's the point, right? How about this--for all the letters of interest I got (about 20), I got E-mails back from New York-based agents saying, "Yes, I remember that game. And you did a great job with your query. But since it happened in Texas, I'm not interested."

Ok, let's get this straight--we've got a book about one of the worst tragedies of the 1990s combined with college football in an emotional story of overcoming true adversity. The two schools involved are among the five largest in the nation and, oh, college football is king in the south!

I've got a pretty good idea that, if I don't screw this up, it'll sell well. Hell, Aggies alone would probably buy 10,000 copies. So why doesn't it have a release date yet?

Because five out of the eight major publishers have also said that "it's too regional."

Ok, fine. So what if that "region" includes Texas, the second-most populous (and coolest) state in the union. So what if people across the south will gobble up the story because of their love for football? It happened in flyover country, therefore it's just dull, not hip enough and just oh-so inconsequential.

Pathetic.

Oh, well. Someone's going to pick it up and it'll sell well. And then I'm going to fly to New York and laugh.

Why's the media afraid of Sarah Palin?

2009-11-14T18:36:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't know, Sarah Palin's autobiography, Going Rogue, comes out on Tuesday. The media has gotten their mitts on advance copies (of course) and (also of course), have decided to savage her.

The headline on this week's Socialist Newsweek (what, they haven't renamed it yet?) reads, "How do you solve a problem like Sarah? Why's she's bad for the GOP (and for America)." The AP assigned 11--11!--half-brained reporters to "fact-check" the book (remember that when you hear the AP bitching about how they just don't have enough staff to cover the news) and the New York Times, in shocking fashion, slams her -- and her supporters -- by bemoaning "just how thoroughly colorful personal narratives overshadow policy arguments and actual knowledge."

(In other words, she's stupid and has nothing to say.)

Judging from these obvious and slightly more subtle digs, Sarah Palin's a threat to the future of the republic. Which begs the question: compared to who? Compared to Barack Obama, whose "colorful personal narratives" in The Audacity of Hope were lauded by the media? The same Obama who has run up the deficit with no benefit to the economy, the guy who has stomped on personal freedoms with his nationalization of the auto industry and his push for nationalized health care? That guy, the one who has made the U.S. a joke internationally as he attempts to "make up" for the Bush Administration's defense of the nation?

Or maybe she's not as big a threat as chronic liar Joe Biden, who hasn't met a dumbass comment he doesn't like? Or perhaps John McCain, who is a brave man filled with courage and principle except when he's in the halls of the Senate, where he's been for the past 20 years selling out the Republican Party?

So she's a bigger threat than an overrated loser who's lost popularity faster than any political figure in modern history, a bloviating fraud and a spineless twerp with an attitude problem? Do tell, media.

What gets your goat, guys? That she speaks simply? That she's not from New York, Chicago, or L.A.? That she believes in her family and doesn't believe in abortion? That she believes in the military and national defense, not cowering to those who would do our nation harm? Is it because she's more experienced a politician than Barack Obama, whose "personal narratives" seem to be about all he brings to the White House?

Is it because she's smoking hot?

Whatever it is, the press treats Palin with an irrational hatred that is breathtaking to watch. Honestly, they're like a bunch of snot-nosed high school brats who are going to do anything they can to pick on the kid they don't like. But, like those kids, they're the ones who come out looking like a gaggle of idiots.

Hey, talking heads: we get it. You don't like Sarah Palin. So what? Overwhelmingly, the American people don't like you. At least 40 percent of the American people like Sarah Palin, so maybe you could take some notes.

My first suggestion would be to get the hot members of your community to dress up in spandex and pose for photos. That would be a start--we'll give you a few minutes to remove your heads from your collective backsides and freshen up.

Just keepin' it real

2009-10-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

So just a few minutes ago, I went over to our local Chic-fil-a (also commonly known as the Single Greatest Fast Food restaurant EVER) to get dinner, since the Missus is under the weather. Business for the evening rush really hadn't picked up yet, so I walked straight up to the counter to place my order.

The girl who was taking my order had a co-worker, maybe 17 years old, jabbering in her ear. Apparently, they'd been having a conversation about another co-worker before I showed up. Instead of doing the smart thing and shutting up, the kid kept talking.

"See, one of my homeboys was there, so I know she was keepin' it real, you know what I'm sayin'?"

I looked at him quizzically for a second, then motioned him over. Being that customer service truly does come first at the local Chic-fil-a, even in a situation that could be to the employee's physical detriment, he walked over the counter in front of me.

"You don't have homeboys," I said, leaning over the counter and speaking softly. "And I don't know what you're saying, she doesn't know what you're saying and, really, you don't know what you're saying."

For you see, the 17-year-old in question had a small problem that made it a little tough to believe he could keep it real: he was the whitest kid you've ever seen.

How white? White enough that I felt soul within me when I looked at him.

The kid had super blonde hair, blue eyes, and a complexion so pale that his cheeks really were red. This kid was so nordic that Hitler would have popped a Woodrow at the sight of him.

So here he was, the postcard for Der Fuhrer's Master Race, talking like he had Master's Degree in Thug Life. Uh, no.

To his eternal credit, he stiffened up, said "Yes, sir," and went in the back ignoring the stifled giggles of his co-workers. Whether he busted out his Kanye CD to figure out how to respond to such criticism is unknown.

Dinner, by the way, was quite good. CFA kept it real, you know what I'm sayin'?

How Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize

2009-10-09T08:10:00.001-07:00

Keep in mind, the real remarkable aspect of this is that he did something within two weeks of being sworn in that was good enough for him to get nominated. I mean, that's truly remarkable; to do enough for world peace in 14 days that a bunch of politically-motivated morons with a hatred of George W. Bush and U.S. stature in the global community thought he was deserving of consideration. I mean, plainly this is not socialists helping socialists; after all, they can point to Obama's doing a lot since his nomination to clinch the award. His feats include:

Devaluing the dollar, not only damaging the American economy but the global economy, due to his fundamentally foolish economic policies;
"Improving relations" with Russia, which has strengthened their hand in support of nefarious regimes like North Korea and Iran (more on them shortly);
Betraying staunch allies in Poland and the Czech Republic by scrapping the missile shield;
Supporting Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro in attempting to have the extraconstitutional leader of Honduras returned to power. The socialist douche attempted to circumvent the constitution by holding a referendum to expand his powers (unconstitutional) and was thrown out by the military (oddly enough, constitutional). Instead of upholding what is actually the rule of law, he wants the Chavez-ista back in power, which isn't going to help our standing in Latin America one iota;
"Re-engaged" North Korea, which paid off in their re-starting a nuclear reactor they shut down under pressure from the Bush Administration and test firing multiple missiles, some of which can hit American territory;
"Engaged" Iran, which allowed them to continue work on a nuclear bomb;
Worked so hard on his "engagement" with Iran that he failed to raise a finger when Ahmadinejad stole the presidential election and then killed thousands of protesters, who should have received at least tacit support from the United States;
Brought a pro-Palestinian policy to the Arab-Israeli issue, essentially undercutting the Jewish state and leaving them more vulnerable than ever before;
Had members of his cabinet and vocal supporters advocate shooting down Israeli aircraft if they flew over Iraqi territory to bomb Iranian nuclear sites. Thankfully, the Saudi royal family (!) is more intelligent and cognizant of the threat of a nuclear Iran, and granted them flyover rights;
Backed off campaign promises to do what is necessary to win in Afghanistan, instead deciding that attempting to negotiate with yet another group dedicated to our destruction (in this case, the TALIBAN) was just a peachy keen idea, thus leaving our military out to dry;
Botched Chicago's effort to win the 2016 Olympics (ha, ha).

So, in short, here's how he won the Nobel Prize: he weakened his nation's standing internationally, made it more vulnerable to attack and sold out long-standing allies as part of some incredibly naive (some would accurately say monumentally stupid) effort to make evil regimes want to snuggle with us.

The Nobel committee has no shame, so they won't be embarrassed by this farce of an award. But a whole lot of people around the globe are beginning to wonder just how dumb and politically motivated they truly are.

Say hello to the Affirmative Action Nobel Prize.

YOU'RE A RACIST!

2009-09-19T08:01:00.001-07:00

This pretty much sums up the idiotic left--ahem, excuse me, progressive Democrat -- view of their opposition (hat tip: Powerline; click on the image to expand):

We get letters...

2009-09-17T12:26:00.001-07:00

A good sign that you're doing something right is if you're pissing someone off. In this case, criticizing Jimmuh Carter for making his astoundingly absurd comments about opponents of Obama all being racist brought out a survivor of Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS). BDS has evolved, now, to Wilson Derangement Syndrome (WDS), with leftist cooks stuck with their own stilted world view up in arms for a guy calling it as he saw it (I'm sure they were aghast when Pete Stark D-Calif., called GWB a Nazi and W. was booed during the 2005 State of the Union).

I yield the floor to you, "Paul":

South Carolina has a long list of dignitaries that includes Lauren Caitlin Upton (Miss Teen USA 2007 pageant contestant), Board of Education Chair, Kristin Maguire, Governor (and avid Appalachian hiker), Mark Sanford and now Joe “the hater not a debater” Wilson or the “screamer not the dreamer” as others have dubbed him. I did enjoy him cut and running through his apology, which only goes to show that he stands for nothing. He is just another good old boy where in the morning these married men preach to you that there should be prayer in our schools and in the evening they are on their cell phones setting up a date with their other women on the side, hypocrisy has been bred in. I am not surprised that he felt compel to yell like he was at some Friday night game. So long Joey, you too will be seeing the unemployment lines.

My thoughts: Paul, where in my post on Carter did I mention Joe Wilson? That's right; I didn't. I wasn't talking about Joe Wilson. I was talking about me, and the tens of millions of people like me. We're not racists; we're opposed to the restructuring of American society that the sitting president is trying to shove down our throats. Now, I'm very glad you've got it all figured out on Joe Wilson, but you totally missed the point of my post.

Oh, and Wilson is in a R+9 district. He'll be re-elected handily. BZZT!

But "Paul" is not done; like Michael Moore, he comes back for another round when the audience really couldn't care less. But, again, you have the floor:

Some call Joe Wilson a great statesman, and are even proud of his “Shout Out”, so lets see, he says, he was told by the Republican leadership to apologize (he did not realize the magnitude of his mistake), he then gives his weak “not for reals” apology, but then goes on to those “Commentator Talk Shows” and basically says he real was not wrong and plays the victim card and calls for people to send in for money to support him for re-election. Had he kept quiet after his apology, that might have been the end of it but now that people know he lied about the apology the story will continue, until he is out of a job and the funny thing is, he does not see it coming. This summer has been rough for his beleaguered political party. At least he did not end up on the “Republican 2009 Summer of Love” list: Assemblyman, Michael D. Duvall (CA), Senator John Ensign (NV), Senator Paul Stanley (TN), Governor Mark Stanford (SC), Board of Ed Chair, and Kristin Maguire AKA Bridget Keeney (SC). In my opinion the Republican Party has been taken over the most extreme religious right (people who love to push their beliefs on others while trying to take away the rights of those they just hate) and that’s who they need to extract from their party if they real want to win. Good Luck, because as they said in WACO, “We Ain’t Coming Out”. The birthers, the teabaggers, the screamers, and the deathers continued extreme minority presence will become tiresome to mainstream America, if it has not already done so.

My thoughts: A tell-tale sign of derangement is rambling. All of the above was written in one paragraph, which is one hell of a ramble. It does make one wonder about the mental capacity of our friend "Paul". Also, you really have to wonder what kind of brain-dead nitwit thinks the Republicans had a bad summer when they've gone from down six in the generic ballot to +2 over the Democrats. The Republicans are now more trusted on health care, something that hadn't been the case in more than a decade (Hillarycare, anyone?). Indeed, Republicans are now more trusted by the public to deal with virtually all issues than Democrats (the exception being education). Gallup--which has been very, very slow in catching up to Obama's loss of popularity--has a poll out today that indicates less than half of their respondents approve of Obama's decisions on ALL of the subjects they brought up, and this is in a poll that went D+6. This meshes with Zogby and Rasmussen, who have been calling this for weeks.

At least 55 percent of the American public is opposed to Obamacare; 48 percent are strongly opposed. That number has continued to go up over the summer, not down. The Cook Report, a Democratic-leaning strategist group in D.C., has issued an alert saying it is likely Democrats will lose at least 30 seats in the house and have a 33% chance of losing control altogether. This is why Obama/Pelosi/Reid are trying so hard to shove this plan through Congress now; they won't have another chance!

Another problem arises for you, Paulie: the Democrats can't agree with themselves. Forty-four Dems won't vote for the plan if it has a public option; another bunch won't if it has federal funding for abortion included. Fifty-seven Dems won't vote for it if the public option isn't in it; either way, you don't have the votes. And there's no doubt you don't have the votes in the Senate.

Now, let's discuss lying. Obama said in his speech 30 million people didn't have health care. He'd been saying 47 million for months before that. He says his program would not have funding for illegal aliens, but that's the only way you get to 47 million. He said there was no funding for abortion, but it's right there on page 16 of the House bill.

He either hasn't read the bill, or he's not telling the truth. Paulie-boy, that means he's lying. Hmm.

Bad summer for the Republicans, Paulie? Another lousy summer like this and they could control Congress. I hope the weather's pleasant where you are, my good sir, because it's not a very smart place--because you, sir, are an idiot.

ACORN finds the source of their problems..

2009-09-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

Isn't it obvious, why these morons from across the country gleefully dispensed advice of a criminal nature to the kids on the video, just like they falsified hundreds of thousands of voter registration forms and committed other acts of a felonious nature?

It's racism.

As in, whitey has come to get them. Seriously. Don't believe me? Here's the idiot-in-chief of ACORN making that claim herself:

"There is an undertone of racism here. I think they're basically saying these people shouldn't be trusted, how could they be trusted? You know, they're all poor black and brown people," Bertha Lewis told ABC News.

Wrong, Bertha (by the way, what the hell kind of name is Bertha? Are you a golf club? A 70-year-old white woman?). They're not black or brown; they're criminals. They're just like every other American, who is supposed to follow the letter of the law.

But that's the thing: ACORN doesn't want to follow the letter of the law. They think they're entitled to something, and they have no problem using duplicitous methods to get what they want. And, finally, they got busted.

And that's whitey's fault. Give me a break.

A quick note to Jimmy Carter

2009-09-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

Mr. President:

It has come to my attention that you believe there is a racial overtone to the criticism of Barack Obama. You, I fear, believe that we who oppose Obama are racists.

Let me clear this up, once and for all time: nothing could be farther from the truth. We hate your guts too.

Sincerely,
Me

P.S. Don't ever hit on my wife again, midget. Otherwise, I'll scream "REAGAN-BUSH" and make you wet your anti-semitic self.

Why we cannot lose the war in Afghanistan

2009-09-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

Does anyone want a repeat of this--or worse?

An open letter to Nitwit Nancy Pelosi:

Comrade Speaker!

It has come to my attention that you are opposed to any increase in American troop strength in Afghanistan. You seem to believe that most people in your party of like mind.

I would like to inform you, comrade, that if that is indeed the truth, you not only have the attention span of a retarded gnat, you are a sheer, unadulterated moron. I understand that you want to repeat the retreat of Vietnam due to your contempt for the armed forces of the United States and those who support them, but that is a painfully short-sighted approach that will end in disaster not only for them, but you as well.

Today is the eighth anniversary of the attacks on New York and Washington that killed 3,000 people, the overwhelming majority of which were Americans. They were innocent civilians, mothers and fathers, wives and husbands. They were killed by a bunch of disgusting terrorist scumbags who declared war on this nation--the whole nation, comrade, not just the Republicans or George W. Bush.

One of the reasons these terrorist dogs were successful was because they had a safe base of operations--Afghanistan. Through Operation Enduring Freedom, al Qaida was forced from their terror bases and the Taliban regime that had been hosting and supporting them was ousted. Sadly, the victory was not complete; our desire to minimize casualties prevented us from crushing them completely.

Eight years later, the Taliban continues to fight in the south region of Afghanistan as NATO forces take the battle to them. While the Bush Administration did not pay the attention necessary to crush the Taliban, they did manage the war respectably. The current regime, under Comrade Obama, has decided that this is the "good" war and has decided to press the issue. So far, it has meant only an increase in casualties and a wavering among members of a certain party.

As in Vietnam, that party is that of the sitting president--the Democratic Party. Once again, the Democrats--led by you, comrade--are ready to pull up stakes and leave. The consequences of that would be far, far greater than our retreat from Vietnam.

If we leave Afghanistan, it is likely the Karzai regime would fall and the Taliban would retake control of the country. If this happened, al Qaida would not only have a safe base of operations once more, the Taliban would be able to exert greater influence on Afghanistan's southern neighbor, Pakistan.

As in, nuclear Pakistan. That nation's leadership is already in jeopardy, and allowing the Taliban/al Qaida to come back out of the mountains and control another nation would likely make things worse. Indeed, it may topple Pakistan's government, giving our greatest enemies weapons of incomprehensible horror.

And they would use them. They have proven that they would use human bombs, car bombs, planes as bombs and chemical weapons--why would they not use a nuclear bomb on people they consider infidels that Allah has ordered them to destroy?

Comrade, I understand that you and your ilk are cowards. But I also understand you are selfish. For that reason, I ask you to consider the following: a young woman, with the prime of her life ahead, has a mother working at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. Her mother is incinerated by an aircraft flown by terrorists--she will miss her daughter's wedding, the birth of her grandchildren and many wonderful events because of this disgusting act. The daughter is left to say, "They tell me my mommy's gone."

Do you really want this to happen to you, or yours, because you wouldn't let us little people finish the job?

Sincerely yours,
The less than respectful opposition

Well done, thou good and faithful servant

2009-08-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

As the nation acknowledged the passing of Ted Kennedy at 77, the Wilson family of Mississippi was pausing to mourn the loss of its matriarch at the age of 78 last week. Unlike the late Senator, there's not much doubt about where Roena Wilson will be spending eternity. Her case is a lot more cut and dry.

Roena, or MawMaw as I came to know her over the past five-and-a-half years, was a truly remarkable person who truly deserved the praise lavished on Kennedy. She raised five children and played a large role in the upbringing of a large number of grandchildren. She worked hard all day, then took care of her husband and family. She had the rough duty of taking care of several family members, and then her husband, as they declined slowly and passed away.

Sadly, by the time I got to know her, Mrs. Wilson was already in her own mortal decline. Parkison's Disease, for those of you who are not familiar with it, is a slow, brutal and painful killer. A couple of days before she died, she endured a 38-minute seizure. That's rough on anyone, but try being 78 years old, five-foot nothing and maybe 100 pounds.

She never complained. She dealt with her illness with grace and dignity, not to mention a resolve that was truly amazing to behold.

Good wishes sometimes aren't enough, otherwise she'd be healthy and still with us. My relations with my grandparents have varied from strained to non-existent, and three of the four are now gone. As a result, I wasn't prepared for the outpouring of love and emotion from generations of Wilsons who came back home to tell their Momma and MawMaw goodbye one last time.

But they're all quite convinced she's in a lot better place. And they should be, because if such a place exists, she's there.

Unfortunately, CNN or Fox or whoever was busy praising Ted Kennedy and missed a shining example of a great American life. I know this is a lousy substitute, but hopefully it's just a start.

Rest well, MawMaw. Hopefully, we'll see you later.

Teddy's gone, but here's how to sum up his legacy

2009-08-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

Last week, while I was in Mississippi attending the funeral of my wife's grandmother--a truly great and good person, a caring heart who never did anything to hurt another soul--Ted Kennedy dropped dead. Immediately, the stories of how wonderful the "Liberal Lion" of the Senate was began to pollute the airwaves.

Of course, no person is totally bad--hang on, Stalin, Hitler, Saddam and Mao, I just changed my mind on you--but Kennedy has a lot to answer for when it comes to the actions of this life. Just a few that come to mind:

A was a serial philanderer who helped put his first wife at the bottom of a bottle;
He would defame, slander and ruin the reputation of another human being for political expense (Robert Bork, anyone?);
He was known for boorish conduct, if not outright sexual harassment of women, during his "wilderness years";
He expected other people to live and operate under a different set of standards than he set for himself.
Oh, yeah: he was directly responsible for the death of another human being.

Why did he do all this? Because he thought, correctly as it turns out, that he could. He was not only a child of privilege, but an example of sheer, unbridled arrogance. That arrogance didn't diminish with age, as he screamed and yelled about the need for alternative energy sources, then fought tooth and nail against a proposed wind farm on Cape Cod. But nothing shows his chutzpah better than a letter he sent to Pope Benedict XVI asking for him to pray on his behalf before he died.

That letter didn't read anything like this, but in an honest world, it would have:

"Dear Pope:

For the last 47 years, I have consistently opposed the doctrine of the Catholic Church during my service in the United States Senate, both on the floor of that institution and in my personal life. I have vigorously fought against many of the church's dictates, including its opposition to contraception and abortion and its stance on homosexuality. During my first marriage, which was later annulled (thanks for that, by the way), I repeatedly took part in adulterous relationships. I was also in the driver of a car that ended up in the Chappaquiddick River in July 1969 that cost Mary Jo Kopechne her life. Though I was in a position to assist Ms. Kopechne in escaping the car, I did not do so.

For five decades, I have publicly and personally scorned the Church's dictates. But let's let bygones be bygones, shall we?

Let's cut to the chase: I'm 77 and I'm dying of an incurable brain tumor. I really want to make sure I make it to heaven, so would you please put aside my past transgressions and pray on my behalf? I know the Almighty will listen to you, and that you'll do as I ask.

After all, I am a Kennedy.

Sincerely yours,

Edward M. Kennedy"

The silence from the Vatican seems to indicate the Pope told Teddy to go pound sand. Ouch.

Rest in Peace, Teddy.

I am sick and tired of Brett Favre (again)

2009-08-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

Here we go again. The man with an ego bigger than the game is back once more, determined to further destroy what was once an outstanding reputation.

For $12 million and a chance to get at the Packers, who had the nerve to get rid of him after he spent an entire offseason retired, then expected to have his job handed back to him even though the team had built its plans around Aaron Rodgers. How dare they take his word when he said he was retired (and was staying retired)? How dare they finally move on after he had jerked them around with retirement threats for the previous three seasons?

So now he gets his shot at payback. Sucks for him that, if the Vikings win, it'll probably be in spite of him instead of because of him. For a lot of reasons.

For one thing, he's not what he used to was, which is one of the reasons the Pack (wisely) kicked him to the curb. He's 39, nearly 40, with a tear in his rotator cuff. His fastball has lost a couple miles an hour, the speed he needed to make the ill-advised throws he's made for 20 years. He threw 22 TDs last year, but also threw 22 INTs. He hasn't gotten any smarter.

For the Vikings, this is a problem. With their running game and defense, they need a quarterback who can manage a game, make smart decisions and not turn the ball over. Sage Rosenfels and Tavaris Jackson wouldn't have been a whole lot better, but their mistakes would come through simple blunders--not blunders caused by a quarterback switching out of plays called because he wants to gamble, who wants to throw deep.

Guys who don't screw up because they're Brett Favre and haven't recognized they're not what they once were.

His out of control ego won't just hurt the Vikings on the field. He's already pissed off a lot of his new teammates by jerking them around, acting like he was still retired and then showing up once most of training camp was done because it was convenient. Farve, like Roger Clemens late in his career, plays by a different set of rules--because he thinks he's entitled to it. That crap doesn't play well in NFL locker rooms, and when it becomes apparent that Favre isn't the Favre of a decade ago but still thinks he is (and should be treated as such), his teammates will sour on him. That is, the ones who haven't already.

I'm sick of Favre's ego, his belief that he's bigger than any team and that he can just make and break rules at his leisure. Football's the ultimate team game, and that's what makes it so great. Favre thinks its him and 52 other players.

He's a joke. He's a shell of himself and is disgracing his legacy. I hope he flops in Minnesota, goes back to Hattiesburg and stays there. Enough of him.

Who is Christine Michael?

2009-08-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

(this is part of the 30 questions/30 days series on the Texas A&M football team)

Answer: You'll know soon enough. So will the Big 12.

Let's make one thing quite clear: Cyrus Gray is developing into a quality running back. He worked his way into the starting lineup last year at the expense of more experienced (and oft-injured) players Mike Goodson, Keondra Smith and Jorvorskie Lane. His reward will probably be lost carries.

Why? Christine Michael. Don't call him "Christine," by the way; his name is pronounced "Christian." In spite of that pronunciation, he may go Old Testament on the competition, sooner rather than later.

Michael has the classic A&M running back build, like Greg Hill, Rodney Thomas and Leeland McElroy: he's 5'11, 205. He's also runs the 40 in the mid 4.4's, so he has the size and strength to pound opponents and the speed to hit the home run. He also holds on to the ball, which differentiates him from Goodson (who is still struggling with that in the NFL). Even though he is dancing around behind the line of scrimmage in practice, most of the time he hits the hole aggressively.

Michael is the Aggies' most-heralded running back recruit since Goodson and may turn out to be the best they've had since McElroy. That's heady praise, but this true freshman appears to be the complete package. In two years, Michael may be known as the guy who returns Texas A&M to football prominence.

Is Howard Morrow going to contribute this year for Texas A&M?

2009-08-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

(this is part of the 30 questions/30 days series on the Texas A&M football team)

Answer: Sure looks like it.

Morrow, who was one of A&M's most heralded wide receiver recruits in history when he arrived on campus four years ago. Since then, he's been an unmitigated bust. He got bigger to block (thanks, Fran), got slower and then forgotten. When he did get the ball thrown his way, he had trouble holding on to it.

In the minds of most people, Morrow was an afterthought as he went into his senior year. Mike Sherman and Nolan Cromwell appear to have subscribed to a different set of ideas, even with A&M bringing in a group of extremely talented receivers. Morrow has lost a lot of weight (as much as 20 pounds), regained his speed and might be the starter at the slot receiver position. He's made a number of outstanding catches in practice.

He's also dropped a number of routine ones, which has been a bug-a-boo.

If Morrow can start in the slot and has has the speed he was supposed to when he got to campus, A&M just got another tremendous weapon. With Jeff Fuller and the cast of freshmen (and maybe Ryan Tannehill), the Aggies could have speed and size at the receiver position that will be tough to match up with.

What are the Aggies going to do at linebacker?

2009-08-19T17:13:00.000-07:00

(this is part of the 30 questions/30 days series on the Texas A&M football team)

Answer: Get a lot younger, and a lot faster.

The Aggies are allegedly running a 3-4 scheme with a "Jack" hybrid defensive end/linebacker position being played by Von Miller. Considering Miller (and Matt Featherston) are looking more like quick defensive ends than anything resembling a linebacker, it may be more appropriate to say the Aggies will probably be starting three young and inexperienced LBs.

The days of Mark Dodge and Misi Tupe are gone; A&M may have the youngest linebacking corps in the conference.

The only returning player with any semblance of experience is OLB Garrick Williams, who would start if the season began today. Williams was throw in to the fire last year and has an idea of what to expect, but is serviceable and not much more. Redshirt freshman Kyle Mangan has beaten out Anthony Lewis and will start at MLB, and reports are that he's the real deal. If so, it would be a pleasant development. Ricky Cavanaugh, who has freakish athletic ability but is still raw, has put on an estimated 15 pounds of muscle and will probably start at the other OLB position. Whether he's developed his skill set remains in question. If it ever clicks for Cavanaugh, he has the potential to be dominant.

Even if Williams, Mangan and Cavanaugh perform, a number of true freshman are going to play anyway. Four-star linebacker Jonathan Stewart has the size (6'4", 221 lbs.), strength and speed to step in and play immediately and will probably do just that. He could be starting be conference play at one of the OLB slots. His early performance hasn't changed the perception that he's going to be an outstanding college linebacker. Sean Porter, Aaron Arteburn, Malcom Johnson, Andrew Weaver and Michael Lamothe may all get on the field at some point this year, because--if nothing else--they're faster than nearly all the other LBs already on campus.

The current crop of linebackers is young and, consequently, will experience growing pains. But they've got a lot of talent and with at least two keepers in Mangan and Stewart, are an improvement over last season. That improvement just may not be apparent immediately.

Do the Aggies have a cornerback who can cover?

2009-08-19T16:33:00.000-07:00

Answer: Still unknown.

Part of the reason for the non-answer answer is the fact the Aggies have no idea who they're going to have available to play corner. Their greatest hope for a shutdown corner is JUCO transfer Coryell Judie, but it's no certainty he's going to qualify. The coaching staff is confident that all he needs is for one more online class to get graded and approved, but the Judie song-and-dance has already gone on a lot longer than it was supposed to.

If Judie doesn't make it on campus, an already perilous situation becomes downright scary as the remaining corner corps is a mix of youth, inexperience and guys who simply haven't played real well to this point in their careers.

Terrence Frederick, who was thrown into starting duties last year, returns and will almost certainly start at one corner. Justin McQueen, a walk-on, is currently starting on the other side, and while he's gotten fairly good reviews, he's still a walk-on. The much-maligned Jordan Peterson has moved back to corner again and, while the coaches would almost certainly like for him to be operating in the nickle against the slot receiver, he may get moved outside.

As many as three true freshmen may play because of the lack of veteran depth. Dustin Harris, Steven Terrell and Desmond Gardiner are all talented and have shown flashes in camp, but you still don't want three college rookies covering the experienced receivers of the Big 12. Harris and Terrell almost certainly will play this year and will likely have their struggles, which may help them down the road but will sting in 2009.

How big of a differerene will Albert Haynesworth make to the Redskins' defense?

2009-08-09T09:33:00.001-07:00

(This is question three in the 30 questions/30 days series on the 2009 Washington Redskins)

Redskins fans got excited when they heard Albert Haynesworth and signed his big-money deal and was coming to D.C. It was almost as exciting as the day when Dana Stubblefield, another NFL defensive player of the year, and Dan Wilkinson, the first overall pick in the draft, came to town.

Yeah, that worked out real well.

Neither Stubblefield nor Wilkinson performed above average in Washington, struggling in the Redskins’ defensive scheme. The Redskins don’t use Tennessee’s scheme, either, which allowed Haynesworth more of an ability to freelance.

Gulp.

Defensive Coordinator Greg Blache is no idiot, though, and he’s already said that he’s willing to implement some modifications to allow Hayesworth to do his thing. And, if he does do what he’s done the last couple of years (read: he’s not going to slack off now that he’s gotten paid), it’ll make a lot of difference to the Redskins defensive line.

When it came to run-stopping, the ‘Skins were fine. Rushing the passer, however, was a tragedy. When Andre Carter’s four sacks are the best you’ve got, you’re not going to be a playoff team. That should be a lot different this year.

With Haynesworth’s 350 lbs. blowing up the center, the double teams Carter saw are going to evaporate. The Redskins have even talked about moving Haynesworth to the end in passing situations, which would be something interesting to see. That would mean that Brian Orakpo would probably be rushing from a standup position, something he did a lot at Texas.

Haynesworth is a tremendous weapon. His presence alone makes his teammates better. Having Phillip Daniels back and adding Orakpo gives the Redskins two extra weapons that will be able to capitalize on the presence of the NFL’s best tackle. Carter should be the one who benefits the most, since he’s the most experienced pass rush threat on the team.

Of course, all of this goes for naught if Haynesworth’s old attitude problems resurface, his knee problems flare up or he can’t get comfortable in Blache’s system. If things go the way they should, however, the Redskins could see the most dramatic change of fortune of any defensive line in football in 2009.

What defense will A&M run this year (and will it be any better)?

2009-08-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

(This is question three in the 30 questions/30 days series on the 2009 Texas A&M football team)

If the Aggies don’t have the personnel to bring back the Wrecking Crew, at least they’re going to run the defense that made them famous. After more than a half-decade away, the 3-4 is making a return to College Station. Unfortunately, that may be more out of necessity than anything.

A&M is short at defensive tackle, and may be even more thin if touted signee Chris Henderson doesn’t get in to school (even though he’s on the 105-man roster, odds are he won’t). This means that Tony Jerod-Eddie, Eddie Brown and (hopefully) Rod Davis are ready to man the nose. Coach Mike Sherman likes his young tackles, especially Jerod-Eddie, who he feels is strong and quick enough to take on double-teams and still be disruptive.

Brown may also see time playing at defensive end on running downs, with Matt Moss starting at the other end position. It’s during passing downs that one of last year’s defensive ends, Von Miller, may be working with his hand on the ground, or rushing from a stand-up position. Miller will be the starter at the “Jack” position, a hybrid between end and outside linebacker. Think someone like a Jason Glenn, and that’s what the Aggies are hoping to get out of Miller (and Matt Featherston).

Linebacker, as it has been for years, remains a question mark. This season, the linebacking corps is going to be much faster than last year, but will be painfully young. Sherman is very excited about Kyle Mangan (who was on the depth chart last year as a fullback) tacking over one of the inside linebacker positions as a redshirt freshman. Mangan appears to be a quick study and a leader, and that’s a good thing—the Ags are going to need that. Ricky Cavanaugh, who saw a little playing time as a true freshman last year, stands at the top of the depth chart at one of the outside positions as camp starts, and Garrick Williams, a starter last year, might start again this year on the outside.

But of all the positions on the field, linebacker may be the one where youth gets served quickly. Johnathan Stewart, from Shreveport, La., may be a starter on opening day. Sean Porter and Aaron Arteburn are two other may be two other guys that see playing time quickly.

With Jordan Pugh and Trent Hunter, the safety positions are well-manned. Corner, however, is a glaring need. If JUCO transfer Coryell Judie doesn’t get in, the Aggies are in serious trouble. If he does, Judie should be able to hold one corner position on his own. Terence Frederick, who struggled last year as a true freshman, will probably start at the other corner, though Justin McQueen may fight for playing time. The much-maligned Jordan Peterson has also returned to corner, and may be assigned to cover the slot man in the nickel. Dustin Harris and Steven Terrell may be forced into playing as true freshmen as well.

Will the Aggies be as bad defensively this year as last? Probably not, because they’re not nearly as slow and Joe Kines’ defensive scheme has been simplified and adapted to the team’s personnel. But expecting them to be in the top tier of the Big 12 may be a year premature.

How bad is the Redskins' offensive line?

2009-08-09T09:29:00.001-07:00

(this is part of the 30 questions/30 days series on the 2009 Washington Redskins)

At the end of last season, the Redskins’ offensive line was a mess. Chris Samuels was hurt, Randy Thomas was hurt, Stephon Heyer was limping and Jon Janson was overmatched. Jason Campbell had no chance against aggressive defenses like Baltimore, who battered him at will. When the team didn’t seriously address the position (beyond the signing of Derrick Dockery to replace Pete Kendall, who had replaced….Derrick Dockery) during the draft or free agency, a lot of people thought it was a really dumb idea. Count me as one of them.

When the Washington Post declares the line a “train wreck” two days into training camp, it’s an indication of two things: the Post can be a tad…reactionary, and they’ve still got problems.

The biggest problem is that the line is old. Samuels, center Casey Rabach and Thomas are all on the wrong side of 30, which is young for a person but old for an offensive lineman. The advantage is they’re experienced; the bad news is that they’re battered and more susceptible to injury. Rehabilitating from a neck injury, Thomas may be one stinger away from having his career ended (or worse).

The other two likely starters, Dockery and Heyer, are big question marks. Dockery was great his last year in Washington and translated that into a huge contract with Buffalo. Two years later, he’s back, released because his performance just wasn’t that good. Coach Jim Zorn seems to love Heyer, but he hasn’t shown much to inspire confidence that he’s a solid NFL player.

That’s why right tackle is the biggest problem on a problem-plagued offensive line. If Heyer proves to be incapable of handling the job, the ‘Skins’ options are limited. One is former No.1 draft pick Mike Williams out of Texas, who has been out of football for two years and needed to lose 100 pounds to get down to 345. Concerns about his ability to pass block have already appeared a mere week into camp, which was something he had trouble with when he was supposedly an elite lineman. If the Williams experiment fails, Carolina castoff Jeremy Bridges is the likely replacement.

With a bunch of young players with no experience backing up at every other position, the Redskins have precisely no margin for error this season. If the offensive line remains healthy (and Heyer can play), they should be competent. If there are any injuries, disaster looms.

Will Texas A&M's offensive line be better in 2009?

2009-08-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

(this is part of 30 questions/30 days devoted to the Texas A&M football game as the prepare for the 2009 season)

Last year was not a pleasant one for the Texas A&M offensive line. A unit that has developed an impressive number of players that have gone on to play in the NFL over the past couple of decades was a train wreck in 2008, doing a poor job run-blocking and giving up more sacks than any other unit in conference play. Some of that was due to a swarm of injuries, including those that ended the careers of Robbie Frost and Leroy Chevalier and ones that essentially left Lee Grimes playing on sheer grit alone. Some of it was due to lack of depth. But the bottom line was that the unit simply was not very good.

There is a good chance that the offensive line will be significantly better in 2009—if the injury bug doesn’t bite with the ferocity of last year. Some offseason publications have ranked them as high as 18^th in the nation, which is a testament to their potential.

Starters Kevin Matthews (center), Grimes (tackle) and Michael Shumard (guard) return, giving the line a bit of consistency it lacked last year. Lucas Patterson moves from defensive tackle to left tackle, and LSU transfer Matt Allen is the leading candidate to take the other guard position.

Even though it looks like questions about who the starters are (if healthy) are answered, there are still more than plenty to go around. The biggest, of course, is whether Patterson can not only the switch from defense to offense, but is he ready to play the most important position on the offensive line? Can Grimes, who switched from guard to tackle last year in desperation, ready to take right tackle job full time? Can Allen shake off the rust of essentially two years on the sidelines to be effective? Can this bunch become a cohesive unit?

They’re already behind the curve on the cohesive question, since injuries held several of them out during spring practice. But a month of consistent work should be enough to have them ready to go Sept. 5.

Depth remains a serious issue, however. Evan Eike and Joe Villavisencio both return and will probably be the backups at guard. There is no real depth at tackle, though, as can be attested to the presence of Vincent Williams on two-deep. That’s why Coach Mike Sherman thinks as many as three true freshmen will contribute this season. The one most likely to see significant playing time is 6’5”, 300-lb. Stephen Barerra, who will probably crack the two-deep by the end of two-a-days.

With Barerra, Rhonte Scales and Patrick Lewis already on campus and a truly outstanding crop of commits for 2010 (including Kevin Matthews’ brother, Jake), the offensive line will be a strength in a couple of years. Right now, however, it’s a question mark. If the starters stay healthy, the offensive line probably won’t be a strength, but certainly a great improvement over last year. But you’ll forgive Sherman if he holds his breath through August, praying for no injuries.

Nancy Pelosi, the People's Champion, shows her tin ear

2009-08-05T10:07:00.000-07:00

What a disgusting creature nitwit Nancy is. Here we are in a massive recession, a large portion of which can be blamed directly on her (and wait until inflation hits, thanks to "Stimulus"), and what's she want?

Nancy wanna a new airplane!

The 69-year-old spoiled brat, who has already whined that the Department of Defense doesn't have a plane at her beck and call all the time, now wants to purchase three Gulfstream 550s.

Total cost: $200 million.

According to Roll Call, the 550s are capable of flying long distances without refueling (italics mine). The company's promotional materials say: "The cabin aboard the G550 combines productivity with exceptional comfort. It features up to four distinct living areas, three temperature zones, a choice of 12 floor plan configurations with seating for up to 18 passengers."

Why the italics? Because Nitwit Nancy has, in the past, gotten pissed off that the private planes she gets from the DOD can't fly all the way from D.C. to San Francisco without refueling. She feels that stopping at a major Air Force base is a "security risk."

More likely, she's afraid of having to deal with the riff-raff. Otherwise, that snot-nosed biatch would fly commercial like 95 percent of Congress.