Why's the media afraid of Sarah Palin?

In case you didn't know, Sarah Palin's autobiography, Going Rogue, comes out on Tuesday. The media has gotten their mitts on advance copies (of course) and (also of course), have decided to savage her.

The headline on this week's Socialist Newsweek (what, they haven't renamed it yet?) reads, "How do you solve a problem like Sarah? Why's she's bad for the GOP (and for America)." The AP assigned 11--11!--half-brained reporters to "fact-check" the book (remember that when you hear the AP bitching about how they just don't have enough staff to cover the news) and the New York Times, in shocking fashion, slams her -- and her supporters -- by bemoaning "just how thoroughly colorful personal narratives overshadow policy arguments and actual knowledge."

(In other words, she's stupid and has nothing to say.)

Judging from these obvious and slightly more subtle digs, Sarah Palin's a threat to the future of the republic. Which begs the question: compared to who? Compared to Barack Obama, whose "colorful personal narratives" in The Audacity of Hope were lauded by the media? The same Obama who has run up the deficit with no benefit to the economy, the guy who has stomped on personal freedoms with his nationalization of the auto industry and his push for nationalized health care? That guy, the one who has made the U.S. a joke internationally as he attempts to "make up" for the Bush Administration's defense of the nation?

Or maybe she's not as big a threat as chronic liar Joe Biden, who hasn't met a dumbass comment he doesn't like? Or perhaps John McCain, who is a brave man filled with courage and principle except when he's in the halls of the Senate, where he's been for the past 20 years selling out the Republican Party?

So she's a bigger threat than an overrated loser who's lost popularity faster than any political figure in modern history, a bloviating fraud and a spineless twerp with an attitude problem? Do tell, media.

What gets your goat, guys? That she speaks simply? That she's not from New York, Chicago, or L.A.? That she believes in her family and doesn't believe in abortion? That she believes in the military and national defense, not cowering to those who would do our nation harm? Is it because she's more experienced a politician than Barack Obama, whose "personal narratives" seem to be about all he brings to the White House?

Is it because she's smoking hot?

Whatever it is, the press treats Palin with an irrational hatred that is breathtaking to watch. Honestly, they're like a bunch of snot-nosed high school brats who are going to do anything they can to pick on the kid they don't like. But, like those kids, they're the ones who come out looking like a gaggle of idiots.

Hey, talking heads: we get it. You don't like Sarah Palin. So what? Overwhelmingly, the American people don't like you. At least 40 percent of the American people like Sarah Palin, so maybe you could take some notes.

My first suggestion would be to get the hot members of your community to dress up in spandex and pose for photos. That would be a start--we'll give you a few minutes to remove your heads from your collective backsides and freshen up.