Revolutions never turn out the way they were originally envisioned. That’s right, none of them; not even ours. When the American Revolution broke out, the idea was intended to be for a loose grouping of states combining together for defense and other universally critical issues (oddly, this did not include most economic matters) at the national level while the main power was held by the states. The Constitution’s passage and the emergence of President Washington brought about a much more united United States that was desired in 1776 (or 1783, for that matter).
The French Revolution was supposed to end up in a pseudo-American government in France, perhaps even with King Louis XVI remaining as a Constitutional Monarch with major control being in the hands of Lafayette. Of course, this revolt descended into madness, with the likes of Danton and Robespierre holding maniacal power before a short Corsican showed up, took power and eventually became emperor.
The revolutions in Russia and China were supposed to bring about the great “Worker’s State”; they ended up being totalitarian nightmare regimes. So has Iran, which had its own revolution just three decades ago and was supposed to be an Islamic Republic.
So much for that idea. We can see now that the only difference between Ahmadinejad’s Iran and the North Korea of the Kims is beard length and clothing style. They’re both totalitarian governments with sham elections with a bunch of insane militarists in control. Allegedly, Ayatollah Khamenei’s running Iran, but I’m not so sure of that anymore. He could just be a figurehead, with the disgustingly corrupt system he allowed to grow under him having gobbled him up. In any case, it’s the military, these neo-terrorist “militias” and ol’ landslide Ahmadinejad who have become just as big a problem as Grand Don Khamenei. And they’re big problems, as in, “We’ll start a nuclear exchange with Israel if you give us a little bit.”
So it behooves Barack Obama to do look at this stolen election, the hundreds of thousands of people risking their lives in the streets to protest, and do…nothing? For a supposedly intelligent guy, Obama can certainly act stupid. This is a sparkling example.
Obama, being from the Jimmy Carter school of cowardly diplomacy, doesn’t want to be seen “meddling.” He doesn’t want to offend Khamenei or Ahmadinejad, who he thinks can still be negotiated with. He also thinks that Mousavi is no different from Ahmadinejad, as he was once a company man himself.
But there’s the thing America’s Dear Leader neglects to understand: this isn’t about Mousavi; it’s about the system and the people in the streets. They’ve had enough of this crap and the election is has been the conduit to release their frustrations. Mousavi may have the idea of becoming president of the Islamic Republic and continuing down a slightly more moderate course than Ahamadinejad—the people in the streets don’t. They see Mousavi as a means to an end, a guy who can replace the evil Ayatollah and his insane puppet, then be pushed aside himself if he’s not ready to follow their course.
Their course, of course, is not that of an Islamic republic. The people of Iran now find the Islamic republic to be synonymous with a Stalinist police state, one that tramples on their rights, their privacy and their ability to act as an individual in the name of Allah. It’s also a form of government that may be leading them to down the road to annihilation, as Khamenei/Ahmadinejad pick a fight with two of the biggest dogs on the porch in the U.S. and Israel (not that we’re going to do anything about it, but Netanyahu is going to bomb the hell out of them if he has to). In all, it’s not a good way to live and nothing like what was advertised.
There is sizeable unrest and discontent. Mousavi probably did win the election, and if Ahmadinejad is so damned popular, where are his people (and why, in the one rally he did have, was it necessary to Photoshop thousands of more spectators in)? Why haven’t they risen up to crush the Mousavi protests as a sign of the “silent majority”? Probably because they aren’t the majority; the Mousavists are. Iran is ready to snap; with the right push, their Bastille Day is neigh. Obama can provide that push, and he doesn’t have the guts to do it.
Over the last few days, there has been a lot of discussion on the blogs about President Reagan’s response to the communist crackdown in Poland in 1981. I hadn’t given it much thought, considering that it appears that that revolution didn’t work. But it did; Solidarity eventually triumphed, not just reforming communist Poland but overthrowing it entirely. They didn’t quit, not only because Lech Walesa wouldn’t let them, but because they knew Pope John Paul II and Ronald Reagan were outside the fence, reminding the world of the evils of the present regime and letting them know they aren’t alone.
Obama doesn’t have to get actively involved for this revolt to win. In fact, his wussified idea that our presence might be a hinderance might be true—for about 10 percent of Mousavi’s supporters. Most want American help; they crave it. They see America as freedom. They see their Shiite brothers in Iraq free now, thanks to the United States. And don’t think that’s not an issue here; they know that Iraqi Shiites control more of their destiny now than they did under Saddam and more than Iranian Shiites ever have under the Shah or the Ayatollahs. They also know that their government, under Khamenei/Ahmadinejad, killed many of their religious brothers while trying to defeat George W. Bush—and failed. Instead of breaking the Americans (nice try on the assist, Democrats), the Iranian involvement in Iraq may end up breaking this system of government.
It is becoming increasingly clear that the people of Iran no longer want this regime or its idiot leadership. They are willing, it appears, to defy the police state and march right in front of the guns and tanks. This failed in China but worked in Romania in 1989, with much bloodshed in both cases. The Romanians, however, had the support of the world (i.e. George Bush). The Chinese protesters (to Bush’s eternal shame) got no backing at all. Obama must realize that the current regime in Iran hates us and will continue to hate us, no matter what sucking up he does. It’s time to play hardball and push back—they’re a lot closer to falling than we are. If it doesn’t work, what has the U.S. lost? Nothing. But the people of Iran could have gained a lot.
Taking this step, however, requires vision. It requires seeing that what’s going on in the streets now is not the vision of Mousavi, but the vision of the thousands of people defying evil. They’re not doing it for a moderate Islamic republic—they’re doing it for liberty. President Reagan said in 1981 that the torch of liberty warms those who seek it and burns those who try to take it away—Obama should raise that torch, just with a few words, and see if the Iranian police state catches aflame.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Iran is at a tipping point to revolution--so why aren't we pushing?
Monday, June 15, 2009
Texas A&M suffers another self-inflicted wound with the resignation of President Murano
When Elsa Murano was named the president of Texas A&M University 17 months ago, I didn't like the move. Seventeen months later, I still don't--but I like something else even less. The way she was removed.
Yeah, sure, she "resigned." Does anyone believe that? Her ouster was the result of a bungled, moronic coup led by a dithering idiot who probably got his marching orders from Austin. It's a disgrace, a travesty, and another black eye we Aggies must endure. We deserve better.
I don't know what it is about us Ags, but when we screw up, we have to do it front of as large an audience as humanly possible. We never do anything behind closed doors; nope, we gotta bare our ass in public. And, with the departure of Dr. Murano, we've given the haters something else to laugh about.
Dr. Murano did not do a good job. She also didn't do a horrible job. In fact, her sample size was way to small to say she did much of any job. But Mike McKinney, the chancellor of the A&M system, wanted her gone.
McKinney, for those of you who don't know, is good at breeding offensive linemen. Outside of that, I'm not impressed with anything he's ever done. In fact, while serving as the chief of staff for the Governor of Texas, he punched someone out during a brawl after the 2001 Texas A&M-Texas Tech game in Lubbock. To make matters worse, he punched out another Aggie who was coming to his aid. This alone should eliminate him from making any decisions of consquence regarding my beloved university ever.
But it didn't, and he's screwing up royally. After all, who does McKinney want to replace Murano with? Early returns are...himself! In a "cost cutting" measure, McKinney has proposed to the Board of Regents that the Chancellor and A&M-College Station presidency be consolidated. That would save $400,000--out of a budget of $1.2 billion.
McKinney's "budget cuts" are the same as Ahmadinejad's "landslide": they're both a bunch of crap. And A&M looks stupid. After all, Murano's ouster was done with the tact and grace of Ahmadinejad's theft of the Iranian election--that is to say, it was transparent, it was stupidly done and now those involved (McKinney and nine members of the board of regents) are sputtering around looking like they went to Baghdad Bob's charm school.
In his review of Murano last year, McKinney essentially said she was hard-headed and didn't play well with others. After concerns were raised about his sudden desire to toss Murano out with yesterday's leftovers by the faculty senate, McKinney told them to screw themselves, that he was exercising "joint governance." In other words, he was hard-headed and didn't play well with others. Sounds familiar, don't it?
The biggest problem with this whole deal is that it stinks of politics. As in, Austin politics. As in, a friend of mine who is the class of '72 and may need a job next year. As in, McKinney's old boss. All nine members of the board of regents are Rick Perry appointees and are beholden to him. Rick Perry did not want Elsa Murano as president of Texas A&M; for that matter, he didn't want Bob Gates either.
Someone else, however, did. His name was George W. Bush, and he held just a wee bit more clout than Rick. Murano was a Bush Administration appointee and Gates was the Director of CIA when 41 was president, not to mention the head of his graduate school at A&M. W is gone from the scene now, so Rick can get his way; after all, one former president bitching to another former president doesn't hold as much sway (and, for that matter, I think 41 is too nice a guy to pick a fight with Perry. 43 would.) And I think he has.
So it all looks like this--if McKinney's the guy, he'll do what Perry wants. He may even be a placeholder for Perry, who may well lose the GOP governor primary to Kay Bailey Hutchison next spring. If that's true, higher education just got a lot more political, and that's not good.
Even if it's not the case, the way this has been handled is an embarassment to our great university. If Mike McKinney wants another job, he should go back to breeding offensive lineman. He excels at that. Coups...well, he sucks at them. And Gov. Perry needs to back up and leave A&M alone for the time being, because he's doing more harm than good. We're going from a school with a world-class reputation to one that's a pawn for a bunch of good ol' boys--something we've tried to get away from for decades.
And, if our football team sucks, it's a rap we can't afford.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
You sports mommies and daddies need to chill the hell out
You've all heard the phrase, "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach." When it comes to athletics, the phrase is, "Those who can, do; those who can't teach. Those who really want to be a pain in the ass have kids who play sports."
Once upon a time, especially in baseball, I could, so I did. I was pretty darned good. I can't anymore, so eventually, I will teach. But I will be damned if I ever act like these asshole parents you see at soccer, softball and baseball games on a daily basis. Those jokers need to grow the hell up and get some perspective.
Lo, those many years ago, I dealt with jerkoff parents when I was just in little league. I remember being called a "dummy" and a "jerk" because I had the nerve to complete an unassisted double play (a line drive hit to me at short, then stepped on second for two) instead of throwing it to some guy's kid. That was an outrage! I was 10. I remember it as clearly as if it were yesterday nearly a quarter-century later. I also remember my father politely telling the guy (and I do mean politely) that if he opened his mouth again, he'd shove a baseball bat in it. Sideways. After the guy's wife told him he was an asshole, he got up to leave, fell down through the bleachers and broke his leg.
He was drunk in publick. That takes some doing in Abqaiq, Saudi Arabia.
That was my first experience with uberparent. When I made the traveling team (think super select team--we made the Little League and Senior League World Series, so there), it got even worse. Parents wanted to kick the crap out of the coaches (who largely deserved it), the other parents (who also largely deserved it) and the players their kids were competing with for playing time (who mostly didn't deserve it). It was hell, and I decided then and there that if I ever had a kid, I would take the Joe Gibbs approach to coaching/parenting--I'd be quiet, standing there watching everything with my arms folded and only talk when absolutely necessary, but damn it, if I did, there'd be some business going on.
When we moved to Texas, we knew stuff was competitive--after all, a cheerleader momma had just shot one of her daughter's competitors over in Sugar Land (or maybe it was mom on mom; whatever, it was totally screwed up). So you add that to the Traveling Team mentality and you have SPORTS MOMMY AND DADDY OF THE 21ST CENTURY!
And boy, do they suck.
I got my first experience with this species in the late 90s, when my little brother was playing 13-year-old league (or something like that). He played for this douche who not only didn't know shit about the game of baseball, he was only coaching to pimp his kids. One kid pitched, the other played short. The other talented kids weren't allowed to pitch, so, predictably, the team sucked. Asshole coach/daddy was kicked out of the league and, last I heard, had moved to Dallas and was trying to make his kids male models. No joke.
I worked on the side with one of the kids from that team, a kid who wanted to pitch but was told he couldn't. His name is John Danks, and he now pitches for the Chicago White Sox. Good enough to pitch for Ozzie Guillen, but not good enough for 13-year-old league.
That was the first glimpse (at least in Round Rock) of this stupidity. It's even worse over here in Houston, as I found out a couple of weeks back.
Madge (if you read my wife's blog, you know who she is) has a daughter (Madgette) who is five and is playing on one of these softball select teams. Her father is (was) the coach. By her own admission, Madge is a type A+ personality, so I figured she'd be a little hands-on.
She is. But she ain't got nothin' on some of the other crap I saw in 25 minutes out at the ol' ballfield.
First guy I see gets out of his Tahoe with his daughter and shoves her towards the practice field. No kidding; shoves her. I get a look at his shirt, which reads, "Southside softball--THERE IS NO OFFSEASON".
Excuse me, asshole? Your daughter is 6! She wants to be playing Barbies or Playstation or whatever it is six-year-old girls do! She doesn't need to be out running sprints or throwing the medicine ball or shooting up with Vitamin B-12 shots! And don't bullshit me--I know you've at least thought about it.
So, there we are, watching Madgette practice. We're talking about practice, man, practice. Practice. The coaches are working with the players, but the parents (to her credit, not Madge) are yelling at the coaches, yelling at their kids, yelling at other kids, yelling at kids who aren't even playing, yelling at the other team's parents...it was horrid. Virtually everyone needed an enema. And it's this way for soccer, volleyball, swimming, you name it.
Look, I'm as competitive as it gets--I get pissed off when I lose a game of Connect 4. I think kids should learn the value of competition and wanting to win--I also think they should be allowed to have fun and not think sports are a burden because their immature jackhole parents are pushing stuff on them (I'm not saying that to you, Madge, so put the gun down). My God, people, get some damned perspective! Your kids are playing games because they're games! Let them enjoy life!
Earlier, I mentioned Madgette's daddy was the coach of the select team. He quit today after he was attacked by a parent for putting her little darling on the bench for two innings.
According to the rules, every player sits for two innings. Unbelievable.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
The Top 10 Bond Girls of All Time
(Note: In order to make this list, you had to last more than five minutes, have more than five lines and actually play a major role in a movie. This knocks out Plenty O' Toole from Diamonds Are Forever, and all the great babes from Octopussy. Sorry, thems the rules.)
Let's face it; there's nothing more awesome for a heterosexual man to see in the history of movies than the Bond Girls--and that includes the Jedi. After all, Yoda and Young Skywalker kick ass, but wouldn't do much in a thong. These babes, on the other hand, show up and immediately take your breath away (even though Xenia Onatopp from Goldeneye, who did not make this list, could do it with her theighs). So, without further adieu, here we go:
10) Dr. Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles), Moonraker
Oh, if only you were an Aggie instead of a t-sip.Pros: She's a CIA agent, tough and resourceful. In real life, she's also a Houston girl, still lives here and teaches drama at Cougar High (The University of Houston). And damn, she's fine.
Cons: For someone teaching acting, she's not much an actress. She's stiff and relatively emotionless. In real life, she's also a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin, a tremendous negative on this blog.
Best scene: (Goodhead) "Tonight I'm giving my address." (Bond) "Then can you think of a reason we can't have a drink afterward?" (Goodhead) "Not yet. But I'm sure I shall."
9) Jinx Johnson (Halle Berry), Die Another Day
Two men have divorced you? They should be shot.Pros: She was another kickass CIA agent. In fact, she may have kicked more ass than any Bond Girl ever. She was one tough chick and made that bikini work for her.
Cons: The movie she was in sucked and didn't maximize her...ahem...talents.
Best Scene: A swordfight with the traitorous Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike, see below) on a disintegrating Russian IL-76 jet belonging to a North Korean dude who looks just like a limey. I told you this movie was lame.
You're a traitor and deserve a spanking.
Cons: Yeah, he married her. And then she got zapped--by Telly Savalas! Blah.
Best Scene: Anything she did in The Avengers.
7) Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi), From Russia With Love
Voice dubbed. Body legit.Cons: She couldn't speak English too friggin' good; in fact, her lines were dubbed. She was also soft and meek. But who cares?
Best Scene: Anytime she was romping in the sheets with 007.
6) Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach), The Spy Who Loved Me
Pull down the blanket a little, comrade. It's warm in here.Cons: Not much of an actress; her voice will grate on you. And she married Ringo. Dude, what's up with that?
Best Scene: Underwater, in Bond's sub/car. Suddenly, she hits a couple of buttons, launches a mine and kills some bad guys chasing them on some kind of skiff. "How'd you know how to do that?" Bond asks. "I stole the blueprints to this vehicle two years ago," she replies. Touche'.
5) Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi), Thunderball
Need some help toweling down, red?Pros: Quite possibly the hottest Bond Girl ever. Wow.
Cons: Also a member of SPECTRE. Boo.
Best Scene: Actually, two; when James tells her that he only banged her for "Queen and Country" and derived no pleasure from it, she replies, "But of course, I forgot your ego, Mr. Bond. James Bond, the one where he has to make love to a woman, and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents, and turns to the side of right and virtue...But not this one!"
(Bond): "Well, you can't win them all."
The other: She's in the tub (WOOHOO!). James comes in and sits down. She asks for something to wear. He gives her her sandals. What a kidder, that 007.
4) Domino Derval (Claudine Auger), Thunderball
Care to take a dip, sweetie?Cons: She's Largo's kept woman for quite some time. And if she's doing him, that's gross. If she's just his arm candy, that's still not saying much for her--but would explain why she throws herself at Bond.
Best Scene: In the critical scene, Largo has the jump on James and is about to deliver the coup de grace with a .38 (I think). But, from behind, Domino shoots him with a spear gun, killing him. (Domino) "I'm glad I killed him." (Bond) "You're glad..."
3) Solitaire (Jane Seymour), Live and Let Die
Pros: Uh...it's Jane Friggin' Seymour. Body to kill for, which James does (frequently).
Cons: She plays a very meek character in a subpar movie.
Best Scene: Near the very end of the movie, Bond and Solitaire are on a train when one of the bad guys shows up to do them in. Bond shoves Solitaire into one of the hide-a-beds, closes it, then does in the bad dude. When he releases Solitaire, she indignantly says, "That wasn't very funny!" Au contraire, darling.
2) Pussy Galore (Honor Blackmon), Goldfinger
We must be dreaming.Cons: Well, she was a member of SPECTRE...
Best Scene: Only one of the greatest of all time! (Bond) "Who're you?" (Pussy, pointing a gun at him) "My name is Pussy Galore." (Bond) "I must be dreaming."
1) Honey Rider (Ursula Andress), Dr. No
Well, hello, darlin'.Cons: None, really.
Best scene: Anytime she's in the bikini.
Friday, June 5, 2009
A current events quiz (the correct answer is D)
Ok, gentle readers, it is time for some brain teasing. Put on your thinking caps and proceed when you are ready:
1) President Obama gave a speech in Cairo June 4 because:
A) He thinks the issues between America and the Muslim world can be solved if they just hear him speak
B) It puts pressure on the Israelis to deal with the Palestinians
C) Hell, he had to try something
D) It's a bitchin' place to bust out the ol' teleprompter
2) Who wins the NBA Finals?
A) The Lakers, because they have Kobe
B) The Magic, because they have Dwight Howard
C) ABC, because the Lakers are in it
D) David Sten, because he wins every year
3) Nancy Pelosi is:
A) The Speaker of the House
B) A lousy liar who's too stupid to realize the CIA probably takes really good notes
C) Less popular than Dick Cheney
D) All of the above
4) President Bush is receiving a bounce in public opinion polls because:
A) He's a former president, they all do
B) It's a pity-based response for all the abuse Obama's heaped on him
C) He's handled himself with dignity since leaving office
D) Hell, at least he didn't try to buy General Motors
5) Al Gore is:
A) Going to North Korea to try to free some wanna-be journalists
B) Nutty as a fruitcake
C) Doesn't care that global warming is a fraud, because he made $100 million of it
D) Should stay in North Korea
6) General Motors is:
A) A classic example of stupid business practices
B) A company that should have been allowed to go bankrupt
C) Alive due to an overreaching executive branch
D) MINE
7) Sonia Sotomayor is:
A) President Obama's choice for the next Supreme Court justice
B) Someone who thinks very highly of her Latino heritage and appears to think less of Anglos
C) Someone in possession of the views of a left-wing extremist
D) Really, really ugly
8) Drayton McLane is:
A) The owner of the Houston Astros and worth several hundred million dollars
B) The guy who wrecked the team by firing Gary Hunsicker and letting the farm system wither
C) A cheapskate
D) A guy who has to be kicked in the nuts by a 15% drop in attendance to figure out that, hey, there might be a problem here..
9) Gordon Brown is:
A) A member of the Labour Party and the Prime Minister of Great Britain
B) An unpopular dolt leading a cabinet filled with egomanical crooks
C) The Conservative Party's best friend
D) Soon to be unemployed
10) Newsweek is:
A) Attempting to re-invent itself
B) By its own admission, dropping any pretense of fairness and becoming more liberal
C) Having Steven Colbert guest edit an issue
D) Dead
