How you know Iran and North Korea are evil

Of course, it's pretty evident to most people (except the most gullible anti-U.S. leftist) that North Korean and Iran are seriously bad news. They're run by maniacs and would happily lob a nuke at someone if they thought they can get away with it (and they may be thinking just that). But there's another, easier way to tell they're scum: check out their rhetoric. We should be carpet-bombing these people into oblivion just for their horrible trash-talking.

I submit to you the following, from the People's Democratic Republic of Korea, let by the moronic Kim Jong-Il:

"Any attack...will be responded to with merciless ferocity."

"America's actions have exceeded the alarming level."

"The northward invasion scheme..."

"The brigandish blockade..."

Who talks like this? Only complete maniacs, that's who. Visualize it: "Comrade! We have exceeded the alarming level! Those...those...brigands!"

I'm sorry, but that's lame. You deserve international scorn if that's the best you can bring to the party. But when you follow it up with this:

“The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea [North Korea] has tremendous military muscle and its own method of strike able to conquer any targets in its vicinity at one stroke or hit the US on the raw,” the Korean People's Army said on Wednesday. “Those who provoke the Democratic People's Republic of Korea once will not be able to escape its unimaginable and merciless punishment.”

The reason there's no further action against North Korea is the world is too busy laughing at their smack! This stuff wasn't effective when Stalin was alive, and it sucks now! Let's peek into the DPRK bureau of tough talk:

"So, we have to show that our military's tough--no mention that we can't feed them, ok?"
"Can we mention our armor is obsolete, we don't have the gas to drive our vehicles and our air force wouldn't last 5 minutes against the U.S. Air Force?"
"No."
"How about 'tremendous military muscle?'"
"Good! Now, come up with something to describe a nuclear attack OR a massive suicide charge by our army."
"Got it--'our own method of strike.'"
"Splendid!"

Plainly, if you support Marxism-Leninism (or Stalinism), you have a screw loose. If you think any of this tripe is intimidating, you're really dumb.

But, apparently talking junk is a lost art on Islamic Fascists, too. Get a load of this, after some terrorist group blew up a mosque yesterday in the glorious Islamic Republic. The Iranians, as they do for everything (if it snows too much, it's the CIA's fault) blamed it on the United States.

Jalal Sayah, the dumbass deputy provincial governor of the Sistan-Baluchistan province that borders Pakistan and Afghanistan, told Fars news agency, "According to the information obtained they were hired by America and the agents of the arrogance."

What information? You busted up a terrorist ring in 24 hours? Bulls**t. And the U.S. cares about blowing up a mosque in Zahedran, which is a martyr's stone's throw away from Taliban and al Qaida (read: SUNNI) bases in Afghanistan and Pakistan? Sure.

But, maybe they've really busted this thing wide open and have discovered the top secret Agency of Arrogance, a threat to world security. Screw al Qaida, SPECTRE and Quantum; the AOA is truly bad news. Can you imagine how they answer the phone? "Agency of Arrogance; I don't have time to talk to you." CLICK.

Breathtakingly bad people, the Agency of Arrogance. One wonders why only the Islamic Republic has caught on to them.

Probably because they're not only dumb enough to throw this smack, they believe it, too. What a bunch of pathetic idiots.

In 2002, President Bush accurately described North Korean and Iran as being part of an "Axis of Evil." If he'd wanted to be even more accurate, he would have called them the "Axis of Evil Dumbasses." It's hard to take anyone seriously when their idea of talking tough would crack up a 6-year-old.

Take away their fissionable material and these punks wouldn't be able to show their faces in public.