How the geekdom that twas the Renaissance Fair wouth conquered

Gather round, ye gentle readers, and behold: The largest Renaissance Fair in all the land. 'Tis is an place known as Plantersville, a tiny shire in the county known as Grimes, a place where the Aggie once didst travail (for a not a lot of scratch, mind thee).

Truly, I say, the Aggie is a fan of the Renaissance Fair. He is a fan for he may go and drinketh fine spirits, known as lite beer, and ogle the buxom females, known in the current vernacular as "babes," as they wear little clothing.

Why art the citizens of the fair wearing little clothing, thou doth ask? 'Tis simple: many people come to said fair dressed in garb of the period. The Aggie considereth such ilk "geeks."

To the eye of the Texas Aggie, there are but few on this blessed planet that are geekier than the Ren Fair geek. In the current vernacular, some of these folks are seriously screwed up. Taketh, for example, the gentle man who, by the week, is a tax preparer. On the weekend, for the festival, nay! He doth wear a skirt (ok, kilt) and toteth a broadsword on his back.

In the current vernacular, no shit. There were lots of dudes like that.

Thou didst also have the wood nympth wanna-bes, who were wearing nothing but leaves. Again, no shit. Twas an interesting assembly of individuals, some wearing pirate garb, some wearing togas, some wearing...well, not a whole frickin' lot.

Many people known to the Aggie have dressed up for the fair or have discussed it. The fair maiden known as Tree has dressethed up, not as a wood-related product but in period garb. The missus and Madge promiseth to dress up next year, at which time the Aggie will go to the shire known as College Station and watcheth his beloved Aggies get their teeth kickedeth in upon the field of battle known as Kyle Field.

Twould be noted that the Aggie wouldst not dress up in said garb if you attempted to remove his testicles. Unless he doth dress in colonial American garb, as one George Washington. The Aggie would doeth this for two reasons: George Washington was, truly, "the man," and it would pisseth off die-hard Ren Fair geek (who may stll show up dressed as a pirate. In the current, figure that shit out).

Yea, we didst go to the fair this weekend. And yea, the geeketh quotient, I assure thee, was quite high. Many men, married but still virgins, were dressed as if they were in the 15th century. Many women, who are demure by their nature, were dressed, as we say in the period, as "sluts."

It didst striketh me that many of these people beliveth the fair to be, in the current, "the shit." In fact, they do spend many months preparing with their fellow geeks so they can go and be geeks together in the kingdom of geekdom.

'Tis not a bad thing; nay, it gives the "regular dude" something to laugh at.

But, a thought didst strike me at this time--is there anyone geekier then Ren Fair geek? Then, lo, the answer didst come to me--yea! For there he was--the geekier geek than the Ren Fair geek.

The man in full Imperial Stormtrooper garb, including the weapon known as the blaster, traipsing through the shire. And lo, the Ren Fair geek didst say, "What the fuck is up with that guy?"

I knoweth not, fair reader, but it did not stop me from hailing TX-1138 as being the geekiest geek of all the geeks. He did a service for all.