Things that annoy me on TV

I don’t watch much TV anymore, and I can’t figure out why. Well, outside of the fact that almost all TV sucks and the shows are boring and unoriginal. So, I decided to make a list of things on TV that irritate me. Here it is:

• The Astros
• WIFESWAP, also known as the “WORST TV SHOW EVER”
• Kathy Griffin and her life on the F-minus list or whatever the hell it is. Sadly, my wife loves it.
• Grey’s Anatomy. If there’s anyone on this planet more whiny than Ellen Pompeo, they should be euthanized.
• Keith Olbermann. Oops, he’s more whiny than Ellen Pompeo.
• Everyone on CNN. They’re either delusional, dead or both.
• Chris Berman. Dude, you’ve been a caricature of yourself for a decade. You’re not funny. So don’t try to be.
• Erin Andrews, when she’s not in slut garb.
• MTV. Play some music and shut the fuck up.
• These commentators on shows who look at the screen with this somber, yet pompous look that you know is fake, except for the pompous part. Stone Phillips isn’t around anymore, but he should be shot for being the master of the look.
• The fact that there are tremendously HOT babes on KPRC-2, yet they’re too dumb to read a teleprompter.
• That the other Houston stations have people who can read teleprompters, yet are not tremendously HOT.
• Patti Smith on Fox Sports Houston. This is what happens when you’re mean to my wife and force me to bitch your ass out in front of the Museum of Fine Arts.
• The fact that it looks like someone shoved a helium hose up Kristina Abernathy’s ass and left the container go full blast.
• Everyone else on the GLOBAL WARMING—ERR, Weather—Channel. Except Jim Cantore. He’s still a badass.
• Poker tournaments. IT’S A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PLAYING CARDS! If you want to watch that, invite some friends over and crack open a few cold ones. Otherwise, you’re brain dead.
• Sex and the City. Come on, I’m a straight male. You think I’d like that shit?