Thank Goodness for friends

I'd just like to take a moment to talk about the importance of friendship. As someone who didn't have a lot of friends while growing up, I've come to truly appreciate the goodness of solid, loyal friends who are willing to listen, who care about your well-being, and do things for you that are above and beyond the call of duty.

They do things like go to the Sex in the City movie so I don't have to.

Momma Pug and I do nearly everything together. There are very few things that could make one say to the other, "uh, you have fun with that."

Baseball games? No problem. Hoops? That's ok too. The theater? I'll suck it up and go.

I draw the line at Sex in the City.

Shockingly, like 99 percent of straight males (and approximately 45 percent of gay ones), I hate Sex in the City -- or, as you can call it, Horseface, Old Horny Chick, Chick from Melrose Place and the Dyke. I think, for lack of a better phrase, that it's putrid.

I've hated Sarah Jessica Parker for years and she is perfect for Carrie Bradshaw-- a completely inept, socially awkward, neurotic unlikeable bitch. Oh, and as a human being, I find her to be loathsome too. Considering that she was named the ugliest woman in America by a popular vote of men (readers of Maxim), I guess I'm not alone. I'm just glad she's at a premier next weekend, because I'd hate for Big Brown to win two legs of the triple crown then lose to Beuller's wife at the Belmont.

I liked the concept of seeing Kim Catrall in the buff--when she was in Porky's. That was 25 years ago. Seeing her now, when she's having trouble remember the glorious days of menopause, is just disgusting.

Speaking of disgusting, check out Cynthia Nixon's chick. That's not a woman, baby--THAT'S A MAN!

I like Kristin Davis. She's still hot.

But, all things considered, Sex in the City is a plunge in the estrogen ocean. And, frankly, that's a catty place I'd rather not go.

But one of Momma Pug's friends--a female--has said she wants to see it too. So, on Saturday, they are.

And I'm not.

Thank God.